santa baby

That's me in the santa suit and that's banjo in the elf outfit. We're getting the sleigh ready to take off for Christmas. Just wanted to wish everyone a very merry holiday season and i'll see ya'll right back here after the new year!

cookie baking 101

Last night Michelle and I went over to our friend Melissa's house for some pre-holiday fun. We ordered pizza and drank beer and decorated cookies. Melissa showed us how to decorate the cookies so that they look really nice.. Almost professional. That example is the cookie is on the left. A perfect rudolf. But after a few beers the cookies started to take on a weird sort of Haight Ashbury feel. They still taste yummy tho!!

which one's mine?

You may be wondering what this is.. perhaps some sort of outerspace diagram or maybe a tribute to an abstract artist? No no.. this is what i see everynight at the dog park. Michelle got Banjo a red collar that lights up so we can find her in the dark. BUT! She told all the other dog owners where she got it and now ALL the dogs have red light up collars. Nobody can tell which is which in the pitch black of daylight savings time.

but baby.. it's cold outside

Wow does it suck to be outside in san francisco today!
Cold, rainy, windy... just plain icky.

a change of heart

Michelle is making me crazy! She changes her mind every 5 minutes about how she wants to treat christmas... whether we get presents for each other or not.. what they are and what she wants. Sometimes she wants an adventure like a vacation someplace! Then she changes her mind and wants us to save our money and get a bank account and deposit the money we would spend on each other. Other times she wants yoga pants and rainboots. Then she goes back to the vacation idea.. then the bank account.. then the yoga pants... oy, you get the idea.

Tiny

Michelle went out and got us the worlds smallest christmas tree. Its a rosemary bush shaved into that cone shape of a christmas tree. Its very cute. We dont really know where to put it.. and we cant really put any presents under it. Unless the presents were like little barbie outfits and shoes. I'm on the hunt for tee tiny ornaments and an itty bity angel for the top.

hand eye contact

If you're ever in a rainstorm and Michelle offers to share her umbrella with you.. back away. She can't control that thing. She poked me right in the eye this morning.

eye contact

My motorcycle has been a nightmare this year with parking tickets and vandalism.. so i met a guy at lunch about renting a garage space to keep the local crackheads from stealing my sparkplugs. I havent actually had this happen in a long time and i was sort of flattered.. and sort of repulsed.. as he talked to me he stared directly at my boobs. With absolutely no deviation. Just kept staring at them. But whatever, i have a parking space and in san francisco i'd do just about anything to get one.

pee chair

Roscoe our big fat cat has decided to stop peeing in his box and has started peeing on our blankets and pillows and the dog's bed. Michelle has given me the responsibility of figuring out why he's doing this. I havent discovered the cause but i've invented this cat pee chair.. you simply stick the cat in the little pee seat and he rolls around in it all day and can pee anyplace he likes.

lucky charm

Yesterday Michelle and I met our friend Matt at the Valley Tavern to watch the New York Giants play the Chicago Bears. Michelle and Matt dont like football but they humored me and rooted for my G-men. It was a really tight game and in the end the Giants came out victorious! Now michelle and Matt have to meet me there every sunday and wear exactly the same outfits.. good luck, you know! I dont think they're too happy about that. But really guys, your sacrifice of a couple hours every sunday is for the greater good.

tazmanian toddler

Do you remember this guy? From the Bugs Bunny cartoons? Yah, the Tazmanian Devil? He was on the bus with me last night. Except he didn't have this classic appearance from the cartoons... he morphed himself into the shape of a 3 year old boy. Wow, i think we should all say a silent prayer for the mother of that kid.... You know who you are.. you were trying to keep little Taz from ripping the siding off the inner panels of the number 12 Folsom bus

hair twins

Ooops. I went to get my hair cut last night and Michelle specifically told me not to come back with the same hairdoooo she has. I forgot that part...

run faster!

Michelle decided the family should go for a run last night since we all got fat over the holiday. But because of the time change it was reeeeeaaalllyyy dark. We ran thru the park and could hardly see. You could make out the whites of some sort of animals eyes.. not sure if they were dogs or cats or ????... we could hear growls and mumblings.. we all got scared and ran as fast as we could the mile and a half home!

uh....

whoops... i may have eaten too much....

Nickel Karma

This morning i counted out a dollar-fifty in change for the train to work. When i got to the station i was a nickel short. I stood there... staring at my empty open hands... i looked up at the station attendant... "i'm a nickel short," i said, as angry business commuters pushed by. Without a word the little gate opened and a transfer popped out of the money taking machine. "Thank you!!" I yelled, as i ran to my train. Now i have to return the favor somehow... what can i do thats worth a nickel of karma?

oh, and i need to have my hair done.. i have that skunk top thing workin'

dunk it

I was watching "The Bachelor" last night.. (wow... he didnt choose Deanna? But thats another story)... so this commercial came on for Dunkin Donuts coffee. Its now for sale at your local grocery store. Dunkin Donuts COFFEE? Does anybody really go to a donut shop for the coffee? and would you buy a bag of it to bring home and make in your own kitchen? It would be another story if it were kinda like a Ben and Jerry's knock-off where the coffee grounds actually have little bits of like... apple fritters or.. chocolate cream filling..or the little yummy donuts with the sprinkles on top! Now that might just get me to grab that bag of Dunkin Donuts coffee and put it in my cart!

put a cork in it...

The other day i was watching good morning america and they had these two doctors on talking about how to de-stress your life. The little cliff hanger before the commercial was that a bottle of wine could help. OOOH! Cool! Justification for the drinking the bottle sitting in the kitchen! But when they came back from the commercial break they said its not about drinking the wine.. its about the cork. If you put the cork in your mouth and hold it top to bottom between your teeth it relaxes your jaw and releases tension. Well, i thought that was a swell idea! Michelle is quite the chatty cathy! I told her about the exercise and the de-stressing powers of the cork... had her put it in her mouth and presto! Peace and quiet in the house!!!

dmv

yep, thats me.. without hair. I pulled it all out this morning. I went to the DMV.. i know thats all i need to say.. but i think i might get some therapy out of re-telling the story. I had to show proof of insurance on my motorcycle so that i could get my little registration sticker. I got there with my pile of documents that prove i have insurance and handed them to the little mean lady behind the desk. The lady looked at them over her bi-focals and said, "I see... You have to fax these to the DMV." I said, "You ARE the DMV." and she said, "No, i'm not THAT dmv, i'm the other dmv.. you have to fax these to the other dmv and then they send you a paper in the mail that you bring back to THIS dmv." I said, "but i'm here, looking at you.. standing in this drab green building.. and i have the paper work right here in my hand..." I took a breathe and thought... "oh, i have it!" "YOU fax it to the dmv!" I said triumphantly! "No, i cant fax it", she says, "you have to." I said, "well how would they know if i faxed it or you faxed it?" then she said with a red face...

"NEXT!?"

coffee water

Michelle is home. Phew! The family survived without her. We had a few ruff spells, like when i made coffee.. i pushed the little red button on the maker thing and left the room. When i came back all ready for my steamy yummy cup o' joe... there was only this weird, yellowish, boiling water in the pot. I lifted the top lid and looked inside... ooooops.. forgot to put the coffee grounds in. It was so nice to have michelle back so i could enjoy a proper cup this morning!

speedy

Yes. This is the same cartoon you saw a few days ago. I dont usually recycle my cartoons... but.. this one fits. She did it again. My 70 year old mother got another speeding ticket!! SLOW DOWN LADY!!

she's worried

This is the note michelle left me... on the back of her little illustration is a list complete with oil type for her vw bug (should i need to use it and put oil in) she listed what the cats eat.. what the dog eats.. what time the vet appt is for ethel.. just about everything you can think of for everyday life was listed in bullet point format. The pets are feeling much better now that i have michelle's note in my pocket.

worry

Michelle leaves tonight to go visit her dad in Florida. She is pretty the much the matriarch of our little family. She buys all the food and feeds the animals. Banjo alerted the cats that its just me this weekend and that they may all starve. The whole house is up in arms.

alternative fuel

Last night i was watching monday night football... the pittsburgh steelers were creaming the baltimore ravens and it was actually kinda boring... BUT, during one of the commercial breaks there was a spot about a new alternative fuel... cow gas. Yep, cow gas. Apparently if they harnessed all the cow gas from the dairy farms it would fuel america. Just what we need... The rest of the world already thinks america stinks.

report card

Banjo had a doggy vacation while we were in Carmel at the wedding. When she got home last night she got rave reviews from her doggy sitter. She was a very good girl!

for those of you interested in whether or not i wore the purple shirt.. sadly... it had to stay in the closet. The temperature in Carmel was much to warm for silk. I wore a tasteful white cotton button down to the wedding. But dont worry, the purple shirt will live to see action again some other day.

purple is the new black

This weekend Michelle and i are going to beautiful Carmel for our friends Amanda and Ralphi's wedding. Oh its going to be GORGEOUS!! I cant wait! I packed up my black interview suit complete with purple silk shirt to wear to the wedding. Michelle says i cant wear the purple shirt because she hates it. I packed 4 decoy shirts to throw her off the track.. but come saturday at 4 pm.. the purple shirt is coming out and goin to the party! OH YAH!

A.A.R.P.

I think Michelle has been lying about her age.. i think she's actaully 72. The other day we went to the cute little french bakery in Hayes Valley and had lunch. She ordered tea. When we finished our meal she said, "I'm going to take this tea bag home.. it's still good. I can get another cup out of it." She wrapped the soggy tea bag in a napkin and put it in her purse to use later.

Did you feel it?

Whoa... we were just sitting there minding our own business watching the charlie brown halloween special when the house started rockin'! At first i thought it was just the neighbors upstairs moving furniture.. REALLY BIG FURNITURE..but then the windows started shaking.. and the walls.. and... RUN TO THE DOOR AND HIDE IN THE DOORFRAME!!!! ITS AN ERTHQUAKE!!!!!! AAAACK!!!

fast

This weekend I went to LA to for a birthday party for my dad. While i was there my sister told me that my mom just got a speeding ticket. My mom is 70. I guess the cop told her not to worry.. that she can go to traffic school and it will erase it from her record. She said angrily, "No, i'm not allowed to go to traffic school." He said, "Oh, have you had another speeding ticket in the last year?" and she said, "mmhum."

I guess my mom is in a hurry these days.

a special thanks

I need to Thank Ramon for helping out with Banjo today. I have a nasty cold and cant take her out for her run in the park. My super hero Ramon came by and took her for an hour. Thank you so much!

oh... by the way.. i dont know what super heroes wear for shoes.. so i drew ramon with some nice boots.

cupboard

When we clean our house we tend to just stuff things into the cupboards to get them out of sight. Sometimes the cupboards are stuffed so tight with things that i can barely close the doors. This morning i was trying to find something in a cupboard in the bathroom and when i opened the door you'd think i had just given the final WHACK on a piñata! Bath supplies flew everywhere!

devil cat

No sleep to be had in my house last night. Ethel, my 16 year old cat went bonkers and started yelling at the whole family. I think she's mad because we allowed our neighbor to stay at our place to watch banjo while we were in New York. She doesnt like strangers. We got home on monday and she was hiding under the bed for 2 days... and then... emerged with a vengeance. Ethel is all of 7 pounds but we're all afraid of her. She rules the house. I'm hoping she calms down by the time i get off work so i can take a nap.

starch it

Michelle tried to help me iron my shirt this morning and sprayed way too much starch on it.

Giants win!!!!

Hurray! We went to New York this weekend to see the New York Giants play the 49ers. When i go see the Giants play they usually lose. I think i may have been a jinx. But the curse has been lifted!!! They won!!!!!!!!

rub a dub dub.. piggy in the tub

Michelle ran a bath this morning. I know its weird but sometimes we take baths one after the other to save water. So michelle took the first bath and then when i got up i went to take the second bath... dude.. i think she must have been pig wrestling yesterday in a pond full of mud. That water was gross. She made me get in anyway and take my bath... i feel soiled.

my missing jacket

In our apartment building there is a freebee pile. Its down in the laundry room. You can put things that you don't want down there and people can take it for free. Ok, so keep that in mind as i tell you that a favorite jacket of mine has mysteriously disappeared.. i looked for it for a while but i finally gave up and just figured that it was in a box or a bag of ski clothes someplace and i'd find it later. This morning Michelle and i drove to work and saw our neighbor crossing the street in front of us. "That's funny," i thought, "he has a jacket just like the one that's missing." Michelle says, "oh look he's wearing your jacket... i put it in the freebee pile."

uh... mmmm... you... WHAT??? YOU PUT MY JACKET IN THE FREEBEE PILE???

grrr....

mix-o-logist

Ever since the whole vertigo thing hit michelle has been making us protein shakes in the morning. This morning she was out of the items she usually uses. Strawberries, bananas, blueberries... etc. So she combined pineapple, yogurt... and coffee. It wasnt as bad as it sounds.. kinda tasted like cheerios.

car show model

Michelle entered her little blue 1961 vw bug into a car show this weekend. I'm recycling an old cartoon because i dont have time to draw today. This is actually a cartoon of dave chapell walking across the street.. he wasnt at the car show. We had to get up really early and dress in vintage clothing. Michelle's car is super cute.. she washed and waxed it and made it absolutley darling for the show. I hung out for a couple hours.. looked at some fancy cars... but after a while i had to go... it was just michelle and a bunch of old men talking about fan belt tension.

the road to mexico

Banjo is a mutt. She has just about every breed imaginable running thru her veins. Except for one... she's no Lab. I dont think her line has seen a waterdog in hundreds of years. She hates the rain. well, of course... It's raining today in san francisco. She wants nothing to do with it. If she had her way she'd be on the next bus to mexico...

home phone

Last night Michelle and i decided that we needed a home phone because my cell phone is always lost or broken or i left it someplace and michelle cant make a long distance call on her cell until after 7... so we went to Best Buy to pick out our new home phone. It's not easy to find a landline phone these days. We asked the blue clad teenager with the bad complexion where they keep them.. and he pointed to the very back corner of the building.. you could hear crickets back there. I felt so old carrying my little antiquated box up to the counter next to the kids with their attack video games and dvds.

bouncy bouncy

Yesterday when i went to the gym i discovered that i forgot my sports bra at home. So.. i thought.. well, how bad can it be if i just wear a t-shirt and still work out. OUCH!! Not a good idea! Although, i'm sure the boys at the gym didnt mind.

Banjo is 1 year old!

Happy birthday Banjo!!!!!!

Monday monster

Last night i couldnt sleep because the monday monster was eating my brain.

fiesta friday

In only moments my co-workers and i are leaving to have a fiesta! So glad its friday!

i cant really draw a sombrero very well.

oh, and i got haircut.. if you look closely you can see how nice it looks.

ok, enough about me.. go have a fun weekend!

two times a loser

Last night the woodcocks lost and then got beat. Humiliating, really. We forfeited the game because we didn't have enough players and then we decided to play anyway for fun.. and got beat. That just sucked all the way around.

farmer

this morning i decided i want to be a farmer... and not for halloween.. i mean, for real.

a little too honest

I went out with some friends last night for a little happy fun. My friend Tracy told me that she doesnt like the lady that sits in the cube next to her at work so she farts and then points her fan in her direction. Sometimes i dont really want my friends to be that honest with me.

hotdog vendor

Sometimes when i get dressed in the morning Michelle says mean things about my outfit. The latest was, "You look like you're going to sell hotdogs all day."

icky

Michelle took Banjo and her buddy Elmo the black lab to the beach yesterday. Not sure what happened there but i think Banjo ate something nasty. In the middle of the night i woke up to that ominous dog throw up sound and promptly stepped in it with bare feet. AAAAACK!

football party

Last night i went to my friend Wesley's house for a football party. I was the only one who actually cares about football. The rest of them just sat there staring blankley at the television screen hoping the game would end. oh well, i had fun anyway! Thanks Wes!

tastes like chicken

Last night all i dreamed about was chicken.. i had my mom's yummy fried chicken, i had chicken curry, i had chicken pot pie, i had chicken tikka, i had chicken in wine, i had yummy yummy YUMMY chicken.