Friday, October 04, 2013

Zero

Last night when Michelle was telling me about her day she mentioned that she had quite an embarrassing moment! She didn't realize the size sticker was still on her new jeans as she walked around town. I've done similar things and could understand the embarrassment of wearing a size Large sticker on my clothes. But i looked at the stick figure before me and asked, "Well, what size did it say?" "Zero," she replied. "ZERO? I yelled. "YOU'RE EMBARRASSED TO HAVE A SIZE ZERO STICKER ON YOUR PANTS?"      Jesus. I'd wear that proudly. Never take it off. If i was ever a size zero I'd wear a sandwich board and walk around town ringing a bell yelling "I'm a size ZERO!" I'd hire a plane to pull one of those banners! I'd get a TV spot during the Super Bowl! I'd invite Kirstie Alley, Valarie Bertinelli, and Oprah over for a pool party and walk around in my TINY bikini with a size Zero sticker on it and when they asked how i lost the weight i'd just shrug. It just falls off me.

Size Zero, what the hell!?