Happy Halloween!

OK, no joke today... i just wanted to show you how cute our costumes are. I'm a lost fisherman and Michelle is a lighthouse. Our friends Desiree and Jen are scuba divers. Presumably sent out to find the lost fisherman...me...and Banjo is a devil.

The devil doesn't really fit the theme but she sure is cute with those little red horns on her head.

elevator

so... if the elevator doors have closed to the point where you can only fit a piece of paper thru the crack.. let it go. The people inside want to get to their destination floor.

My cat

My cat snores. Its really cute at first.. aww.. kitty.. snoring... and then it gets louder and louder and you cant sleep and all you want to do is wake up the kitty and yell, "Hey lady! Stop sawing those logs!" But then you look at her and you just say.. "awww... kitty snoring...so cute..."

ouch

I was never able to do cool stunts like the other girls in the neighborhood. They could always do cartwheels and somersaults. They'd bounce around and spin and then drop into the splits. TA-DAH! Well, I'll bet they're jealous now! I walked into the bathroom and slipped on a wet spot and went right into the perfect splits! And then sorta bounced around off the bathtub and sink. Sure, i cant walk anymore.. but at least i can say i did it!

monkey suit

Michelle and i are planning on going to hear Jane Goodall speak at the new Museum of Natural Science on Halloween night. I guess that monkey costume i got for trick or treating is out...

nose

Michelle broke my nose.
Now i look like Karl Malden. If you don't know who that is...google him.
It'll crack you up.

Excuses, excuses...

Last night Michelle and i went out for a drink with our friend Desiree for her birthday. Our other buddy Aimee was there too. We hadn't seen Aimee in a while. We asked where she'd been and she said, "Oh, I've been busy...i was sick...
and i got roofied..."

????

revolving door

You know when you go thru a revolving door?
Does it seem like you're the only one pushing?

hehehehe.. I have to give credit to one of my Woodcock buddies for that. She cracked me up the other night when we were sitting in the dugout watching our Mighty, Mighty Woodcocks go down in defeat. I told her that line was worthy of a cartoon. But.. wow.. its hard to draw a revolving door. Anyway, Happy Friday!

The House and I

I'm not extra short today...I'm squatting so that i can point at a link i want you to click on. See it? over there on the right? The link is called House. My blogger friend Erin.. well, i call her "House".. wrote a really nice blog post about me and i simply MUST return the favor. She's a very talented writer and cracks me up every morning when i settle in with my cup of coffee and read her blog. I know you'll get a big kick out of it! Now go on.. don't hesitate.. Click on that link!

Oh, and the pumpkin? Her man Johnny raised that pumpkin with his own two hands and sent it to me in the mail. I also received a pig rat..
but that's another story all together.

Now go on.. click!

Giants down, Dow up

For a few weeks the New York Giants have been winning and playing amazing football. During those weeks the stock market fell to ridiculously low levels. Yesterday the Dow went up and the Giants fell. So the question is.. would i rather see my 401k balance itself out and sock away some retirement money? Or would i prefer to see the Giants win.

No contest.. screw the money... GO GIANTS!!

Television debut

So you know how people... well, grandmas...tell you to wear clean underwear when you leave the house? Because you never know when you might be in an accident? Well, add to that old saying, "And brush your hair." On Saturday Michelle and i took Banjo for a walk. It was supposed to be just a short jaunt across the street to the little park for a quick puppy pee pee. But the little park was full of people having some sort of a rally. So we walked to the big park about 1/2 mile away. I didn't put on a nice outfit and i threw a hat on to disguise what i can only describe as a birds nest. As we neared the second park i noticed a pretty blond lady in a red pantsuit standing next to a man holding a TV camera. mmhum... I'm sure you can guess where THIS is going. Just as we got within about 2 feet of her she thrust a microphone in my face and asked, "Are you a Democrat or a Republican?" "Uh....... a democrat?" I asked." The pretty blond lady then says, "Well, can you please tell the Sky News Audience in England why you're voting for Obama?" Shell shocked, i just stood there staring at her. "But i haven't even combed my hair." I tell her. "And i had a hat on.. and I'm not really dressed to answer these kinds of questions." Unfazed, the English woman says, "Well, you can put your hat back on. Now tell us, what are the 3 top issues for you in the election?" And there i was.. just staring... blankly.. at the camera. I think i may have said something about the economy and my measly little 401k. But mostly i just stared and combed my hair with my fingers. I'm sure I'll appear on some comedy show in London as the Idiot from San Francisco. So.. as i said... wear clean underwear and dress for a television appearance every time you leave the house. You'll thank me for it later.

Good News!

OK, OK, I know its been a ruff week or two.. what with the economy tanking and all. But, I have some great news to share with you. I don't know if they have this in every city but here in San Francisco we have this thing called "Waiters on Wheels." You can order take out from just about any restaurant and these wonderful waiters bring your food to your home. Yah that's cool and all.. but the good news is.... They deliver from Baskin Robbins!!! Are you kidding me? I can have someone bring me ice cream?! And i don't even have to get out of my pajamas? Score!!!

skinny jeans

I squeezed myself into a pair of jeans that are a size smaller than i usually wear. I don't know why i put them on this morning. My fat jeans weren't even dirty. I just got a wild hair and pulled them on. Now i feel like a lollipop with all my fat pushed up around my armpits.

Verify

OK, that's it. THAT'S IT!! I've had it with that little "verify this word" box!! Are you kidding me? They stick a word in a little box and put X's thru it and wrap it around in circles and erase half of it and then.. when you type in what you THINK it says.. NOPE! WRONG! Try again. They give you another word that's even MORE cryptic! I hate those little boxes.

biggest loser

I wish the Animal Planet Channel would create a Biggest Loser show for pets.
Because DUDE! My cat Roscoe NEEDS to be biggest loser for sure!!