Thursday, April 30, 2009

The dresser

We sold a bunch of stuff at the garage last weekend. The goal was to sell enough junk so that we could buy a new dresser with the cash we made. We checked out a few online stores and settled on a piece from overstock.com. A perfectly gorgeous dark wood 6 drawer dresser. When we read the reviews on the site they said that its a real pain in the arse to put together but once you do its a beautiful piece of furniture. Oh yah baby. Bring it! I was all talk. I can put it together! My grandfather was a cabinet maker for Pete's sake! And i helped my sister take down and reconstruct her bed frame each time she moved! "Don't you worry your pretty little head," I told Michelle. "I can do it! I have tools!" Ok, so fast forward a few days. I've forgotten all about the dresser. When i arrived home from work last night it was waiting for me. There in the hallway. The neighbors helped Michelle carry the boxes upstairs. Yes, boxes. Plural. And there they sit. Staring at me. Daring me to open them. "Go ahead tuff guy! Open us! See if you can figure it out!"

I'm afraid.

UPDATE! Another box just came!!! AAAAAACK!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

"Oh no! I have the people flu!"


This one's for my co-worker Myra. She's been reading the latest reports aloud all day and has the entire office convinced we'll surely die of the dreaded swine flu!!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Garage sale

This is what my kitchen looks like right now. The neighbors are having a huge garage sale tomorrow and Michelle has piled up all of our crap to sell. I asked her not to start piling until closer to the sale. That was on Monday. She was all gung ho to start the purging exercise. I told her to just make a list of what she MIGHT want to get rid of. "Great idea!" she exclaimed. And she sat down with her pad of paper and a pen and scribbled out her list. But on Tuesday when i came home from work this is what i was greeted with. Along with bags in the living room full of old clothes and a completely dismantled dresser with panties everywhere. "I thought we weren't going to start piling stuff up until closer to the actual garage sale?" I asked... sternly. "Well, that was yesterday. Today IS closer." She grinned that devilish grin of hers. So, I've been living like this for 4 days now. I just hope we sell all this stuff so i don't have to drag it all back up stairs and put it all away again.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

A mighty wind

So, going back to the hair dryer. This morning i noticed that on the new one we just got there's a button for cold air. Cold air? Why would you want to blow cold air on yourself first thing in the morning? My grandma told me not to go out in the cold air with wet hair! I'll catch my death of cold!! Are they trying to kill us with this new contraption??

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

trial

Michelle and i went on a short vacation up the coast last weekend. We stayed in this tiny cottage. So cute! Right next to a little stream. I didn't realize it but i guess little streams come with little bugs. And little bugs scare me!! So, yes, i did freak out and try to smack a bee with a broom. OK, a couple of bees. And yes, i accidentally stepped on a caterpillar. And, well... that bumble bee that landed in my lap had it coming when i wacked him with my sweatshirt! And for Pete's sake! Spiders are creepy! Especially spiders crawling on the firewood i brought into the house! So, your honor, i throw myself on the mercy of the court. I'm just a city girl! Take mercy on me!!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Night owl


Sometimes my cat walks across the couch and steps on the remote control and changes the channel. ACCIDENTALLY of course. I don't really think much about it. Cats don't really watch TV, right? Over the last few days I've started to doubt that theory. I think they DO watch TV. And i think they get just as addicted to their shows as we do. The last few nights my cat Ethel has been waking me up at around 2 am. Chatting it up. She wont stop meowing at me until i wake up. So inevitably i get out of bed, go to the living room and turn on the TV. As soon as i make myself comfy on the couch she curls up on my tummy and quiets right down. Her head cocked just so...watching the screen. I would really rather she get up on her own and turn on the TV herself. I don't mind paying a few extra dollars on the electric bill. Really.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

number

Don't you think its funny when they make you take a number and you're the only one there?

Yah, me too.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Peter Hussein Pan

I'll bet you were as surprised as i was when you first heard Ol' Captain Hook was back on the prowl. Yep, that tick tock you've been hearing was only your alarm clock. I guess Hook escaped the grasp of that alligator and is down off the coast of Africa right now. And oh yes, he's up to his old tricks again. But don't worry! We have Pan on our side. And his little friend Hillary.. er.. i mean.. Tinker Bell.. to handle those nasty Pirates.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

snack time


I've followed the advice of all those healthy experts on Oprah and The Biggest Loser and shows like that and gotten rid of the snacks in my house. You know, chips and cookies and doughnuts? They say that if you don't have them in your house then you can't eat poorly. AH! But they're wrong! If you want it badly enough you can come up with something equally as fattening. Last night i was watching the American Idol "BYE-BYE" show and i just HAD to have a snack! Something decadent! Something sweet! Something salty too! So i emptied the contents of my cabinets and spread everything out on the counter. AH HA! I found an old bag of stale peanuts and a can of chocolate frosting. I thought, "Yes! i can make something similar to a Reese's cup!" So there i sat in my jammies on the couch with a big spoon full of frosting in one hand and a bunch of peanuts in the other. It was a glorious evening!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Beautification

I got a new hair dryer! See how pretty I am now?

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

appliance reliance

I'll bet you take that little hair dryer of yours for granted. I know i did. Until it broke. And now i have very strange looking hair everyday. That little hot air blowing device is undeniably precious when you want to look.. well, pretty. Yes, i admit it. I'm not immune. I want to look pretty. And without hot air in the morning its nearly impossible. The best i can do is average looking to slightly unattractive. So speak sweetly to your hair dryer when you see it tomorrow morning. You have no idea its power.

WINNER!

We won!!!! And i have to give all the credit to Michelle. She's a Woodcock hero. She'd tell you herself that she's not much of a ball player. In fact, she's terrified of the ball. But we were down a girl and if she didn't just sort of plant herself in the field and stand there we would forfeit. So she put on a glove and gave it a go until our missing girl showed up. Yay! Here's a virtual drink too you little lady! We couldn't have done it without you!