Tuesday, June 30, 2009

uh oh

Oooops. I got fat. I ate and drank my way all the way up to Portland and back. But wow, was it worth it!!?? What a beautiful coastline Oregon has. Every inch looks like a Bob Ross painting. Happy trees. Gorgeous seascapes. Green pastures that just keep getting greener. It was a great trip. My favorite stop along the way was a German restaurant in Coos Bay. The host was a German gentleman in his 70s who turned out to be the waiter as well as the bartender. And, yep.. surprise, the chef as well. He showed us to our seats, poured our drinks, took our lunch order and then rushed back to the kitchen to cook up my schnitzel. He offered us dessert but i was afraid he'd run off and bake a cake so we just said thank you and asked for the check. You really must visit him if you're in the area. I think it was called the Blue Heron? Something like that anyway. Just look for the out-of-place Hansel and Grettle cottage in the middle of town.

Now its time to lace up the running shoes...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Portland Bound!

Tomorrow's my birthday. Hint, hint. Yes, presents are welcomed. I wont be here to thank you for a few days. Michelle and Banjo and I are packing our bags for a road trip up the coast ALL THE WAY to Portland! Whooohooo!!! Batten down the hatches! Oregon here we come!

Friday, June 19, 2009


That's a drawing of a bar of soap sitting in a soap dish on my bathroom sink. What i would like to discuss today is the shape of the bar. Notice how its sort of dipped in the middle? That's how they come now. I guess they wanted to make it easier to fit the contour of your arm? But i wonder if they noticed that the arm is the only place it fits? My face isn't shaped like that. My belly isn't shaped like that. My legs SORT of have that shape. Except that they're really BIG. Perhaps soap companies think the only spot on the body that needs to be squeaky clean is the forearm? Since your arms stick out of your clothes all day and other people might smell them? I would like to make an appeal to the soap companies to go back to the olden days. A nice flat bar. We can scoop out the middle if its a problem.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Busy bee

Hi guys! Sorry i haven't been very chatty this week. I've been a little busy.
And add a migraine headache to the mix and you have a pretty cranky piggy.

Friday, June 12, 2009


Yay!! Michelle washed some sheets!! Yay!! But we have a mystery unfolding here. When she went to get the sheets outa the dryer she found the glass portion of a pair of eyeglasses. Just the glass. No frames. She held them up to her eyes and could see perfectly thru them. Thus, surmising that these are indeed the lenses from her glasses. But the question is, where are the frames? Perhaps they're not from her glasses at all and someone else in the building has the exact same impaired vision that she has and have since found the frames but not the glass? And how in the world did the spectacles get in the laundry in the first place? We shook out the sheets to see if they had somehow been trapped in the folds. Nothing. We're just left wondering. What really happened to load 447?

Thursday, June 11, 2009


Last night i put tiger balm on my sore leg. I didn't think to wash my hands afterward. Around 9pm as i was watching "So you think you can dance" i felt a smoldering.. uh... in my private area. It started slow and suddenly built up to a bon fire in my pee pee!! OOOOOH!!!!! HOT TAMALE! In the future, take this as a warning. No touching the privates with tiger balm on your hands.

Don't ask why i was touching my private area, nosey. Its called "private" for a reason.

Thursday, June 04, 2009


Michelle told me that her Grandmother was a hoarder. In her older age she would wrap paperclips in plastic wrap and hide them away. I'm worried that Michelle might be showing signs that she's inherited the hoarding gene. Each time i go to change the sheets on the bed i ask her where the sheets are? And she inevitably tells me that we don't have any. How can we not have any sheets? Weird. And the last few days I've been asking what happened to the bath rug? I told her that the bathroom floor is getting filthy. Her response was, "Yah, its ok. Its always dirty." But get this! Later, i went over to the trunk in the bedroom and opened it. There, in a big pile were all the sheets and all the rugs. What the...? She's hiding them away? Why? Perhaps she's planning her escape and needs to tie them together to climb out the window?

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Mosquito coast

"Wait, I thought i threw the tennis ball to the dog..."

Michelle and Banjo and I went camping this past weekend. It seems camping is quite popular with Mosquito families in the summer as well.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Question of the day...

There was a piece of candy on the floor of the elevator when i got on this morning. It was wrapped. There were others on the elevator who must have chosen not to pick it up and eat it before i arrived. So, my question to you is...is it ok to pick up a piece of wrapped candy off the elevator floor and eat it? In front of other people? Because, well...I did.