Luggage

Michelle and i are packing for a little vacation and it reminded me that i forgot to tell you something! The last time Michelle flew to see her mom in Florida she decided to go ahead and check her bag so that she didn't have to wheel it around behind her during her 2 hour layover in Atlanta. I met her at the gate at SFO and we walked together to the luggage carousel to retrieve her bag. We waited and waited. Around and around went the other passengers bags. Nothing. Finally we spotted her bright yellow suitcase. Something was flapping on the handle. I thought maybe she put a special tag on it so that she would be able to spot it quicker. But as it got closer we realized that it was a pair of her lacy panties! Tied to the handle! What the? Maybe the bag opened and that pair fell out and they just tied it to the handle? No no no, its more sinister than that! When we got home Michelle opened her case and discovered that ALL her panties were missing! They had been stolen by a panty thief! I share this with you as a warning! When packing for a trip make sure you put the granny panties on top! To discourage Mr. Creepy fingers from stealing your sexy ones!

Alzheimers

I'm feeling very confident that Michelle and i will get Alzheimer's at approximately the same time. The other day Michelle was standing in front of the refrigerator asking me what she was looking for while i was trying to change the TV with my automatic car key.

DMV

My driver's license is about to expire. I got a note in the mail that i had to come in and take a new picture! I've had that same horrible picture for like 20 years so i was overjoyed to get the chance to have a "do-over." I scheduled an appointment for today. I got up and took a nice long shower and used hair products. I put on mascara, foundation, and lip stuff and wore a black shirt so i look skinny. I did my hair all fancy, whipped it around to make it fluffy, jumped in the car and zipped across town to the DMV office in Oakland. I stood in line for about 20 minutes before i noticed there was a separate line for people with appointments. The SPECIAL people. Yes, today i was special. I was Beautiful. The DMV man summoned me to his desk to start the paperwork. He asked for my name and phone number. Oh i know why you want my PHONE NUMBER you silly man! I flipped my hair. He scanned a long list of names. But mine didn't appear to be there? He revved up his 40 year old computer and dug a little deeper. As i waited for his computer to sort things out for us i looked around at the other people in line. "Yep, I'm special. I know you're all thinking that. I know you all wish you were me right now. I have an APPOINTMENT." The man behind the desk said, "Your appointment is NEXT Friday." oh...... uh... really? "Yah, really." He said. "NEXT?"

Rubber bands can save your life

Michelle joined an emergency response team in our town and is obsessed with saving our neighbors should the world break in half and our street falls into the center of the earth...or you know...whatever. So she bought a bunch of supplies online. All of which showed up in a big box yesterday. She pulled each item out of the box and jumped up and down with excitement.  She ordered the CERT all weather field operating guide, 60 band aids, water treatment tablets, magnesium fire starter, 10 Mylar thermal blankets, and a rubber band ball.

Rubber band ball?

glasses part 2

and then i forgot my glasses because who thinks to grab a sock off the coffee table and throw it in their laptop case as they're running out the door?

Glasses

I've lost 5 glasses cases. I don't know where they go. Today i had to carry my glasses in a sock.

Tell me a story

We had to take Banjo and Banana to Doggie Day Care yesterday because our dog walker is in Europe. (lucky dog walker!) Banana had a very scared look on her face when we dropped her off. So Michelle called later that morning to see how she was adjusting. The Doggie Day Care lady said that she was settling in just fine and that Banana really likes storytime.  ?????    STORYTIME? 

candy making

I just happened to stay home today. JUST MY LUCK! Michelle and her buddy Emily are making CANDY! What? I know!!!!!! What could be better than that??

french twist

Michelle and i have decided to learn French! So far we can say, "You are a man." and "I am eating the pig."  These sayings come in handy......?

candy

As Michelle walked out the door she said, "Stay out of the cookies and chocolates!"

ssshhh.....don't tell....i'm hiding the evidence....

swimsuit

...and then she said it... those 6 little words no girl wants to hear in the dead of winter! 

"Don't forget to pack your swimsuit!"

Mayan calendar

"Hey Balam! I need a bigger piece of paper! I can only get up to 2012 on this sheet.

"I dont have any bigger paper. Just leave it! That will really FREAK people out in the future!! ahahahahah"

big girl pants

oh man, i had to put on the big girl jeans today.... too many cookies....

Hound Dog

I hide presents for Michelle around the house but she's a total snoop. Luckily Michelle is part Christmas Hound! She cant help herself! She gives herself away every time. This is what i hear from the other room when she's snooping around. 

"PRESENT!"  "IS IT FOR ME??" "I FOUND A PRESENT!"   "PRESENT!"