Sunday, April 24, 2011


This morning when i walked outside our front door i noticed something a little different in the flower bed. There was a stick stuck in the ground. Just a plain brown stick. It seemed like somebody had intentionally jabbed it into the earth and left it standing there. Weird. So i asked Michelle if she had seen it since she's the green goddess in the family. She told me that she put it there because the neighborhood dogs were peeing on her baby flowers. 

Our conversation is as follows:
ME: "uh... ok... but why is the stick there?"
Michelle: "so the dogs will pee on it."
ME: "But how will they know to pee on the stick?" 
Michelle: "They always pee there. The scent is there. But now they have a stick to pee on rather than the flowers..."

I’ll let you know if the pee stick works. If it does, I’m going to go for a hike, grab a bunch of sticks, market them and sell them at home depot. I’m going to make a BAZILLION DOLLARS selling pee sticks!!!

Thursday, April 07, 2011


Michelle and i are on vacation at a ski resort. They have a super cool outdoor hot tub with views of the slopes. Cant think of anything better than sitting in a hot tub in the middle of snow storm. Steam rising as the snowflakes hit the boiling water. BUT! I forgot to pack my swim suit. I know, I know.. what's the big deal? just go in naked! Well, that sounds swell but there are children lurking about and they really don't need the mental trauma of seeing me naked. We decided to go shopping in town for a suit. A ski town... right. And, of course... as you might imagine, nothing. I finally put my pride aside and decided to try Kmart. Last resort. AND! They had bathing suits!!!!!!! In the back corner. Away from anything resembling a mirror. The selection consisted of approximately 5 different versions of the MOM suit. Complete with skirt and daisies.

i bought it. i wore it. i live with the shame.