Tuesday, January 31, 2012

fear factor

I have a new phobia. One that rivals my fear of sharks. And for those of you who've known me for a while.. that's HUGE! My new fear is that someday I'll win an Oscar and I'll have to wear one of those dresses. You know.. the fancy ones? and I'll have to walk the red carpet and make small talk with the media. I just... i couldn't do it. I just couldn't. So if one of my films ever comes up for Academy Award consideration please DON'T vote for me. Whats that you say? Have i ever made a film? No. But this is a phobia silly. IRRATIONAL. The kinds of things that keep you awake at 3 in the morning and have no resolution. My 3 am mantra goes something like this: "Did i turn off the coffee maker? Did i lock the front door? Did i pay the motorcycle insurance? Did i get nominated for an Oscar?"

Mmmhummm... you're shaking your head in agreement. You get it.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

diet

I've had a terrible stomach flu for the last 3 days. But the good news is...Michelle and i are going to Hawaii in February and I'm well on my way to my bikini weight! Yes! High Five!

Sunday, January 01, 2012

coffee talk

Morning conversation with Michelle:
Me: If i were another country and i wanted to invade the United States i would do it on New Years day.
Michelle: Why? Because all the stores are closed?
Me: ?