Friday, January 28, 2011

winter

This particular winter in California is sooooo confusing.

(by the way, this pic is in response to the literally THOUSANDS of requests i receive daily to see me in a bikini.)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

jiggle

I went for a run this morning. It was the first time i laced up the old running shoes and strapped on that steel trap of a running bra since before Christmas. Ooooooh. Let me just tell you. I have waaaay more jiggly bits than i remember. And the jiggly bits i dooooo remember are larger, in topiary-like shapes and have moved to random areas of my body.

damn Christmas cookies....

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

litter

There's a two story Target store down the road from us. I like to go there because they have this cool escalator for your cart. Right. Not just a people escalator but an escalator for your cart so that if you go upstairs you can take your cart with you. BRILLIANT! So Michelle and i did a little shopping on the first floor. We got some soda, hair dye and a 40 pound box of cat litter. Yes, 40 pounds. It was on sale. We didn't really need anything upstairs. But i love riding the escalator. Like its a ride at an amusement park. So we loaded up the cart on its very own escalator and rode up to the second floor. Love it. We turned right around and loaded the cart to go back downstairs. My plan was to do this over and over.. at least 12 times. Well, let me just stop here and tell you...there are no warning signs.. Nothing like, "Your cart must be over this height to ride this ride" or "You cant ride this ride if your cart weighs.. lets say.. 40.5 pounds."  So anyway, we load the cart on its track to come back down and off we go. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee... fun!!! until.. uh oh... i heard a kind of cracking sound. And then the escalator sort of "bucked." OH NO! Our cart was too heavy and released itself from the track! It started rolling! Crashing into the carts in front of it! Now ALL the carts on the track are releasing themselves and FLYING down the escalator toward the "Beat the flu" display below! People were frozen in disbelief as carts took off on their own! SMASH! BANG! CRASH! They all gathered at the bottom. Bunched up like stuck typewriter keys. By the time we got to the bottom floor it looked like one of those mass suicide photos. Complete with purple blankets and Nike shoes. At this point the escalator is completely broken and has stopped working. A really mean Target lady in her little red outfit came and gave us a "look." We dislodged our cart from the others. And slowly pushed it away. No proof we started the whole thing. They'll never know it was us. But from now on... I'll ride the "ride" BEFORE we get the cat litter.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

jackhammer

Michelle and i are doing a little home improvement project that involves breaking up some cement along the side of the house. I got a jackhammer to do the job. Wow...now i know why there aren't many female jackhammer operators. 
Bouncy boobies!!!