Saturday, November 20, 2010

urban bandits

A couple weeks ago there was a news story about a woman who was chased and attacked by a pack of raccoons. Apparently, they jumped from the trees like little monkey ninjas and tried to take her jewelry! They kidnapped her dog and then drove off into the night in their tiny '57 Chevy. OK, OK.. i made that part up. BUT! The story was nearly as ridiculous. Michelle and i LAUGHED as we heard the news report. Silly. Raccoons? Attacking PEOPLE?

Fast forward a week to the night before trash day. We were rolling out the bins to the sidewalk when we heard some weird scratching noises down the street. It was after sun down so it was hard to see. I could make out the shape of..........HOLY CRAP! A pack of raccoons were racing toward us!!!! They were pissed off!!! And wanted our jewelry. Remembering the news story we turned and ran as fast as we could to the house! 

I just want to humbly apologize to the poor raccoon attack lady. 
Those little dudes are really scary.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

slap

So the Mighty, Mighty Woodcocks won the Berkeley Rec C League Championships last night. It was a hard fought battle complete with a miraculous comeback by our injured second base(woman) who hit the winning run. It all happened in slow motion...there should have been "The Natural" movie soundtrack playing in the background. We're trying to get the rights to the story and have Lindsay Lohan play our star. You know, after she finishes rehab, of course.

But this morning I'm left with an overwhelming sense of loss. The season is over and we don't rev up our softball engines again until March. I'm not mourning the loss of the game. I'm mourning the loss of the appropriate venue for a good slap on the ass.

Friday, November 12, 2010

funny

My back hurts. I slept funny.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

small world


Sometimes my dog Banjo and i like to sing when we're alone in the car. We like to sing really loud. This morning we were impersonating Richard Nixon singing "It's a small world."

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

trick

We didn't get any trick or treaters at our door on Halloween. NOT ONE STINKIN' KID! and we stocked up, man. We were ready. We had BAGS of candy ready to go. And nothin'. Nobody. NADA. 

so now? I'm a strung out mess. Twix! Snickers! Reece's cups... you name it..i'm eating it. At an alarming rate. Fists full. I cant stop myself!!

So thanks batman. Thanks Harry Potter. Thanks 21st miner. 
Yah, thanks...for the extra 12 pounds on my thighs.