Friday, May 09, 2008

The Homey Awards

This morning i was walking to work and a homeless guy asked me for spare change for a cup of coffee. Coffee? Just a little pick me up in the morning and he's right as rain? I handed him a quarter. "Sure brother. Grab yourself a cup o' Joe on me. Its the least i can do... Really." And off i went. But it got me thinking. The homeless situation in San Francisco is RIDICULOUS! How is it that i can pay 200 a month in parking tickets and still someone sleeps on the street?? But wait! I have an idea. You know how most of the homeless folks have those cardboard signs.. that say like, "Will work for food" or whatever? Well, its a pretty competitive market.. who can tug at your heartstrings more. There's usually a homeless guy at every corner of a 4 way stop.. each guy trying to out do the other. What if there was an awards show for best homeless sign? The categories could be funniest, most heart warming, least misspellings... (ouch, sorry) And the winner gets a key to the city which opens their own private suite at city hall. Brilliant, i say! Brilliant! My pick for the Homey's is a sign i saw a guy holding about a month ago. It said, "My wife and dog were kidnapped. Need cash to get the dog back."

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmmm; you're exhibiting classic withdrawal symptoms of bacon-cheeseburger with all the trimming and a side of French fries deprivation.
A quick, tried and true remedy for your malaise is a 3 Musketeers Dark Chocolate, chased down with a grape soda - think of it as the appetizer course before the burger entree.

Good luck

Ramón

11:28 AM  
Blogger cake said...

My favourite sign ever said, "NEED MONEY FOR A PENIS ENLARGEMENT."

Really...and the guy was sitting there, grinning away.

After I finished laughing, I actually gave him some change...no idea whether he needed the enlargement (I didn't ask for proof) but I appreciated the laugh. *grin*

2:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Give me a quarter or I'll touch you"

as seen on the NYC subway system

--iloveupstate

4:06 PM  
Blogger Sparkle Plenty said...

"Hell, why lie I need a beer"
"Will not kill you for food"
"My father was killed by ninjas--need money for karate lessons" (I've seen someone holding this last sign and was surprised to see photos of the sign on the Internet--held by different people.)

8:56 AM  

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