Friday, December 19, 2008

gone postal

I did something. I did something bad. But i don't want to tell you because i think its a federal offense. And i could.. maybe.. go to like... federal prison!

OK, OK... I'll tell you. I went to the post office to mail off a little Christmas present. I needed one of those bubble envelopes. You know, the kind that's padded? So i went to the display and took one. I was going to pay for it, really. I wasn't going to just take it! I addressed the envelope and got in line. A LONG line. The kind of line you don't have time to stand in during your lunch hour. And i waited. A while. In that LONG line. And then i saw it! Like a beacon calling me and my envelope ashore. It was the automatic postage machine. Did anybody really see me take that envelope? What if i just scoot outa line and use the machine? I thought about it for a second and then.. yes, i scooted. I walked really fast. Head down. Waiting for the "Hey Lady! You didn't PAY for that envelope!" But it never came. I used the machine...mailed my envelope.. and left the building. I gave a quick glance back at all those suckers in line. And grinned a very grinchlike grin. I'd done something evil at Christmas. And now.. I wait.. for the mailman to come arrest me and slap those cold steel cuffs around my wrists. You can address my Christmas cards to Sing Sing Prison. Cell Block 9.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well Lucky yours might just have run out. There is little doubt the Feds will be coming after you. They certainly do little if anything to the people that steal and take billions of dollars. They will be looking at you to make an example of how tough they can be.
Have a nice Christmas, I have enjoyed your 2008 life experiences.

12:40 PM  
Blogger ege said...

You are a stealer!

8:29 AM  
Blogger milo said...

or a steeler? hehehe

11:34 AM  
Blogger ege said...

Well, at least she's not a Brown!

4:54 PM  
Blogger Renovation Therapy said...


Throw $5 in the next charity bucket you see and you'll get your good karma back.

If you go to jail, I'll send you books...

8:58 AM  
Blogger pork luck said...

Thanks! I like Biographies.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
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8:53 PM  

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