old Meanies

Why is it that the old people that work the polling places where you cast your vote are the meanest old people on the planet? Sure, they look sweet in their little red white and blue outfits and their star spangled banner pins. But don't be fooled. They aren't sweet. They sit there with their big book of names and just wait to catch you doing something wrong. "YOU DON'T REALLY LIVE THERE, DO YOU?!" Or, "THAT'S NOT YOUR REAL LAST NAME, IS IT?" Or... "HAVE YOU EVER VOTED BEFORE? YOU MORON?" They must hold a meanie talent show at the local retirement home right before each election and pick out the nastiest, oldest people to man the tables. If you can do a great Freddy Krueger, you're in.