Car rental

Michelle and Banjo and i are going to LA for a week to help take care of my mom. She had knee replacement surgery and will need some help getting around and cooking and stuff. We are renting a car for the journey down the coast. For some reason the lady at the rental car agency always tries to give us the worst car on the lot. The one with no tires...or the one that smells like a dead cat.. or you know, that one car on the lot that still has a tape deck. Michelle has a theory that they give us crappy cars because we don't dress up before we go to the rental agency. We usually just wear shorts and flip flops. So she got herself all dolled up this morning and high stepped out the door like Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada.

So much for that theory. We got the EXACT same crappy car we got last time. I think Enterprise just has nasty cars.

Hiccup

Did you know that babies who are still in their mommy's tummy can get the hiccups? Apparently so. My friend Jessica just told me that she was up all night with a belly full of hiccups. So the eternal question? How do you get rid of them? Hold your breath? Drink water? None of these things seem transferable to a baby inside your belly. I think the only answer is to scare the be-jesus outa the baby. Turn all the lights off in the house...sit very still...and then yell, "STORK!"

hairball

That's my friend Aimee. She was at Baker beach today walking her dog and a big hairy man came up to her and told her that she was the prettiest dog walker he had seen all day. Very nice of him to say.

He also happened to be completely nude.

Tourist

My friend Shelley had a great idea for her birthday. On Sunday a big group of us dressed up like San Francisco tourists and climbed onto a double decker tour bus and spent over 5 hours exploring our fare city. What a fun thing to do! The bus stopped at all the major landmarks and let us get off and wander around. I found an ice cream parlor at Fisherman's Wharf and ordered a big fat hot fudge sundae. I sat on a curb and kinda wolfed it down. I rarely let myself eat ice cream anymore. As I finished my sundae one of my fellow Woodcocks passed by. She was taking her family for a tour. We exchanged pleasantries and then went on our merry way. A few minutes later i looked down at my shirt.. i had chocolate ice cream all down the front of me and a bit left on my chin. I think I'll say i was on Ambien and don't remember seeing her. It worked for Patrick Kennedy. Apparently he explained away picking up hookers by saying he was on the sleeping drug. If you can pick up hookers and not remember.. then surely you can be a sloppy ice cream eater.

Milo the monkey

Most of you know that Michelle has changed her name to Milo. She recently discovered that she shares the name with a monkey that NASA shot into space in the 60's. To be honest, I've had a hard time calling her Milo. So, now i like to call her my little space monkey.

Go Woodcocks!!!

Whooohooooo!!!! 5 wins in a row! I was missing in action because my buddy Wesley and i went to see the San Francisco Giants get clobbered by the Florida Marlins. We had lots of fun but my heart was with the Woodcocks!

On a side note, i usually ride my bike to work and Michelle always calls to see if i made it in safely. This morning Michelle gave me a ride. Keep that in mind as i recount our phone conversation.

Ring, ring...

Me: Hello?
Michelle: "Hi! Oh good! You made it in safe!"
Me: "?......Yah, you dropped me off."
Michelle: "...."
Me: "Remember?"
Michelle: "..."

Click.

The gals of Brazil

Did anyone watch the women's beach volleyball match last night? USA vs Brazil? Did you notice the unfortunate shortening of the Brazilian team's name?