Friday, October 14, 2011

Fire

Michelle and Banjo and I went camping last weekend for Banjo's 5th birthday. Yay! Fun! Right on the beach off Highway 1 above Bodega Bay. BEAUTIFUL! We set up our little tent, hung twinkly lights in the trees, and got out the special treat bag for our birthday girl. Fun! Fun! Fun! and then......... the first rain drop fell. Humm... maybe its just really thick fog? I mean, we ARE on the beach in Northern California. Certainly NOT bikini worthy. We continued on with the party until our eyelids were too heavy to hold open and then hunkered down for the night. I heard the beating raindrops on the roof of the tent all night. But I wished them away. Hoping that by morning this little storm would have blown right on outa town. When we woke up the next morning our little tent was basically a swimming pool. We were wet, the dog was wet, the sleeping bags were wet. I told Michelle that as fun as camping on the beach would be any OTHER time... we needed to get the hell outa there and dry off. "OK, OK.. she said but can you make a fire for us first and I'll brew a pot of coffee?"        UH........Make a fire?? In the rain??? I DO have that primal fire thing, I must admit. I'm very proud of my fire making abilities. That I can keep my little family warm. But come on...its raining! And the wood is wet! And the newspapers are wet! And the matches are wet! And..... I'M WET! She looked at me with those, "I'm counting on you to save the day" eyes. "Well, I'll try" I said. And she happily scampered away to pack up our gear. The dog sat there looking at me. Judging me. I got out the wet newspaper and wadded it up into balls, stacked the firewood in the perfect tee pee shape just like my dad taught me. And pulled a wet match out the wet match box. And tried and tried and tried and tried and tried to light the match. nothing.        tried again.      nothing.       Michelle kept stealing glances at me. "I'm trying!" I thought to myself. She smiled at me and went back to work rolling up our sleeping bags. UGH. Strike the match.. nothing. At this point I'm more than soaked. My shoes are full of water. The dog is standing in a foot of liquid. Judging me..........I finally gave up. Its impossible. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!! So I sloshed over to Michelle and gave her the bad news. "I just cant make a fire in this storm. I CAN'T!" Her eyes welled with tears and said...................... "But all the OTHER campers have fires."

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......................epic fail.

5 Comments:

Blogger jeesau said...

aww...honey! What a bummer. Those other campers must have had their fires going BEFORE it rained and had dry firewood in their cars. That's the ONLY way they had fires. You'll get 'em next time!

11:23 AM  
Blogger pork luck said...

Thanks!! You're a good friend!!!!

12:59 PM  
Anonymous rail arson said...

One word: gasoline.

11:22 AM  
Blogger Ramón said...

Arson is absolutely correct; that plus, totter over to REI and invest in a pack of waterproof matches. In no time flat you’ll be slurping steaming cups of Sanka.
Oh, and remember to "step back" when you toss that match……….blackface is very un-PC nowadays.

Now that I think of it; aren’t you approaching the age demographic that goes camping in a 45’ RV with satellite TV and built-in jacuzzi? Kiddin!!!! Shout but don’t hit!

7:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy b day banjo. Sorry it rained on you parade. Aunt Stephanie.

11:21 AM  

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