activia

After all these years, Jamie Lee Curtis can finally stop running. Turns out Michael Myers was just irregular.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

skinny people...

Halloween isnt quite as fun when you live with a skinny person. I came home last night and saw a small plate with about 5 expensive looking dark chocolate squares on it. "Yumm, chocolates!" i said as i reached for a square. Michelle slapped my hand away. "Those are for Halloween!" I looked at her for a second. Then looked at the 5 small pieces. "For the kids?" I asked? "Kids don't want dark chocolate squares. They want Nerds and Milkyways and yummy fattening things!" She walked away shaking her head. "Too bad," she said, "Dark chocolate is better for them."

Sigh, i'll just have to hit the stash at work for my Halloween fix.

snuggy

I was in line the other day at the local Walgreens pharmacy to get a soda and some gum. The line was super long. So long that it kinda wrapped around the store. Down the candy isle, into the razor section and back up near the counter again. What could possibly be the hold up? Should i just leave my gum and soda on the counter and walk out? I really wanted that damn soda. I nudged the guy in front of me and asked, "hey, whats the hold up?" He turned around and rolled his eyes as he explained, "See that lady? she wants to return her SNUGGY. She wants a different color."

The moral of this story is...In the land of Snuggies, all colors are created equal. They are all equally hideous.

the lift

Michelle brought her little blue VW bug to the shop yesterday. She left Banjo in the backseat while she talked to the mechanic. She described the rattling and the bumping, the grinding and the jiggling, the hickup-ing and and the neck snapping jerks. The old German mechanic nodded as he listened to the symptoms and then grinned and grimaced and calculated and planned. Michelle felt satisfied that the man understood her dilemma and that her baby blue bug was in good hands. She paced for a few minutes and then wandered off to the find the ladies room. Upon her return she realized she didn't have Banjo at her side. Where'd the dog go? The car was high above her on the lift and worker bees were rushing around underneath it unscrewing and re-screwing and unbolting and re-bolting. And there was little Banjo. High up in the sky. Staring down at her with panic filled eyes! I guess the guys in the shop didn't realize there was a doggy in the car. Up she went! Spun around! And down she came! What an exciting adventure! All is well, the bug is fixed, the doggy survived, and Brett Farve is a rock star. Nice way to start the week.