I decided to run home from work yesterday. I wasn't feeling all that spiffy but since i didn't go to the gym i figured i could use my commute as my workout. I got about a mile into my jog when things started stirring in my belly. And some tummy cramping started to effect my stride. I popped into a Starbucks for a quick sip of water to see if i could calm the savage beast below. It worked. I felt a little better so i continued on my path. But then, a few blocks down the road...it hit. Like a freight train! The dreaded Diarrhea!!! I had to act fast! No time to mess around! I pursed my cheeks together to prevent an accident and ran straight into the closest business...Burger Joint. That's the real name of the restaurant. I'm not trying to protect the identity of the establishment. I ran past the patrons enjoying their double deckers with cheese. Avoided eye contact with the employees at the counter and ran right into the bathroom. Thank goodness the women's room was vacant! I closed the door behind me and can only imagine what the customers thought as they heard the most EXPLOSIVE diarrhea in the history of the world. The sounds that erupted from my body were not of this world. This is my official apology to those of you who were enjoying a nice dinner...especially the ones with the chili burgers.