Tiny

Michelle went out and got us the worlds smallest christmas tree. Its a rosemary bush shaved into that cone shape of a christmas tree. Its very cute. We dont really know where to put it.. and we cant really put any presents under it. Unless the presents were like little barbie outfits and shoes. I'm on the hunt for tee tiny ornaments and an itty bity angel for the top.

hand eye contact

If you're ever in a rainstorm and Michelle offers to share her umbrella with you.. back away. She can't control that thing. She poked me right in the eye this morning.

eye contact

My motorcycle has been a nightmare this year with parking tickets and vandalism.. so i met a guy at lunch about renting a garage space to keep the local crackheads from stealing my sparkplugs. I havent actually had this happen in a long time and i was sort of flattered.. and sort of repulsed.. as he talked to me he stared directly at my boobs. With absolutely no deviation. Just kept staring at them. But whatever, i have a parking space and in san francisco i'd do just about anything to get one.

pee chair

Roscoe our big fat cat has decided to stop peeing in his box and has started peeing on our blankets and pillows and the dog's bed. Michelle has given me the responsibility of figuring out why he's doing this. I havent discovered the cause but i've invented this cat pee chair.. you simply stick the cat in the little pee seat and he rolls around in it all day and can pee anyplace he likes.

lucky charm

Yesterday Michelle and I met our friend Matt at the Valley Tavern to watch the New York Giants play the Chicago Bears. Michelle and Matt dont like football but they humored me and rooted for my G-men. It was a really tight game and in the end the Giants came out victorious! Now michelle and Matt have to meet me there every sunday and wear exactly the same outfits.. good luck, you know! I dont think they're too happy about that. But really guys, your sacrifice of a couple hours every sunday is for the greater good.

tazmanian toddler

Do you remember this guy? From the Bugs Bunny cartoons? Yah, the Tazmanian Devil? He was on the bus with me last night. Except he didn't have this classic appearance from the cartoons... he morphed himself into the shape of a 3 year old boy. Wow, i think we should all say a silent prayer for the mother of that kid.... You know who you are.. you were trying to keep little Taz from ripping the siding off the inner panels of the number 12 Folsom bus

hair twins

Ooops. I went to get my hair cut last night and Michelle specifically told me not to come back with the same hairdoooo she has. I forgot that part...