Friday, May 10, 2013


My driver's license is about to expire. I got a note in the mail that i had to come in and take a new picture! I've had that same horrible picture for like 20 years so i was overjoyed to get the chance to have a "do-over." I scheduled an appointment for today. I got up and took a nice long shower and used hair products. I put on mascara, foundation, and lip stuff and wore a black shirt so i look skinny. I did my hair all fancy, whipped it around to make it fluffy, jumped in the car and zipped across town to the DMV office in Oakland. I stood in line for about 20 minutes before i noticed there was a separate line for people with appointments. The SPECIAL people. Yes, today i was special. I was Beautiful. The DMV man summoned me to his desk to start the paperwork. He asked for my name and phone number. Oh i know why you want my PHONE NUMBER you silly man! I flipped my hair. He scanned a long list of names. But mine didn't appear to be there? He revved up his 40 year old computer and dug a little deeper. As i waited for his computer to sort things out for us i looked around at the other people in line. "Yep, I'm special. I know you're all thinking that. I know you all wish you were me right now. I have an APPOINTMENT." The man behind the desk said, "Your appointment is NEXT Friday." oh...... uh... really? "Yah, really." He said. "NEXT?"


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