Wedding Singer

When scouting wedding locations you should check with that Yogurt shop across the street from the gorgeous restaurant you found for your ceremony. Just make sure your big day doesn't overlap "FREE YOGURT DAY with every Karaoke performance!" Especially when the days are hot and all the windows are open.

decaf

Michelle accidentally bought decaf coffee at the store. She decided to mix half decaf and half full-caf in our little coffee container and see if i noticed. Oh i noticed. I am literally half asleep.

flex

I just want to remind that guy who just walked by the window and flexed that just because a window is tinted and reflective on one side it doesn't mean people aren't on the other side watching him. Its a WINDOW!

I also want to remind that guy who just walked by the window and flexed that...... he's welcome to do that ANYTIME!

Titanic example of bad taste

Michelle and i were just at an outdoor festival in Oakland called "Art and Soul." There was a special area for the kids to play while the adults get loaded on Budweiser, listen to live music and shop for bad crafts. In the kid's play area there was a blow-up slide called the "Titanic Slide." This sounded interesting so I walked over to see it. I thought Michelle and i might push our way to the front of the line if it was big enough for us to slide down. As i got close i realized... the title Titanic wasn't in reference to its size. It was literally a replica of the TITANIC! The ship! The great maritime tragedy! And there were kids sliding down it and then plunging into the plastic blow-up ice burgh below!  wow.......... that's all i have to say about that. WOW! Who thought THAT was a good idea?

buns

I just went to the store and bought TINY hamburger buns...for no other reason than.. THEY'RE SOO DAMN CUTE!

the sandwich

Last night when I got off the train from work I went to Brennan's to get a Turkey sandwich. I was too tired to cook dinner. So I got in line and sorted out exactly what I wanted. Turkey on a sourdough roll with the bread dipped in that au jus stuff… and some of that horrible cafeteria cole slaw that I love so much and a slice of key lime pie. Mmmmmm… yum…………………. The man behind the counter made the sandwich and boxed it all up nice and neat for me and handed my order to the cashier. I whipped out my ATM card to pay. I was soooooo hungry and ready to dig in! She ran my card… uh… not working. Not working? How is that possible? My dinner was only 10 bucks……          SHIT! I've been so busy this week I forgot to transfer money from my savings to my checking! I only had like 7 bucks in my account. Well, not to worry. I had more plastic. So I handed her my American Express card and reached for my sandwich. The cashier pulled the sandwich back… just outa reach. Uh.. We don’t take American Express here.      SHIT!     I stared at my little box on the counter with that DELISH sandwich nestled inside. I reached in my pocket… my face going from bright red to an ash white…any cash? I pulled out a wadded-up mess of one dollar bills and some change. At this point a line had formed behind me. I was "that guy." I spilled my money all over the counter and counted out JUST ENOUGH to cover my bill. I grabbed my sandwich before she could say anything further and rushed out the door. That sandwich tasted soooooo good! But………. I probably wont go back to Brennans for a while :)

left or right

I play softball every Tuesday night for the Mighty, Mighty Woodcocks. The dugout is always full of Jr. woodcocks running around. In the middle of our last game one of the tiny tots came up to me holding her mommy's giant baseball glove. It nearly dwarfed her. She's 3 or 4 and has to be the cutest little girl on the planet. She said, "Sawa, which hand do i put this on?" So i said, "It goes on your left hand because you want to throw the ball with your right hand." She looked up at me.. those big baby blues staring deeply into my eyes... silence... and then she said, "Sawa, which one is my left hand?"