diet

I've had a terrible stomach flu for the last 3 days. But the good news is...Michelle and i are going to Hawaii in February and I'm well on my way to my bikini weight! Yes! High Five!

coffee talk

Morning conversation with Michelle:
Me: If i were another country and i wanted to invade the United States i would do it on New Years day.
Michelle: Why? Because all the stores are closed?
Me: ?

cookie monster

UH OH... I memorized the Nestle's Tollhouse chocolate chip cookie recipe. So much for any New Year's resolutions.

pearls of wisdom

Just got the word from the doc. I have a kidney stone in my right kidney. Apparently my body makes pearls. Great news! Looks like I have all future Christmas gifts covered. 

shave and a haircut... 2 bits

Yes, you are correct. The above drawing is probably the single worst drawing I've ever done of a hand. Its kind of freaking me out to look at it. But i drew it to illustrate this story so bear with me for a moment.

I shaved my arms this morning. I looked down yesterday at my hands as i typed and besides noticing that they looked eerily like my mothers hands.. which was disturbing enough... i noticed that my arms were crazy hairy! I had been wearing a sweater and the wind combined with the friction of pushing my sleeves up and down all day as the temperature changed in the room made my little arm hairs stand straight up! I looked like a werewolf! I decided right then and there that i would shave it off in the shower this morning so as to avoid any further electricity hair raising problems. So i did just that. I got the ol' baby blue BIC outa the cabinet and shaved it right off. While i was at it i went after my mustache. Might as well. I emerged clean as whistle. Soft and pink. Just like i like me. BUT! Much to my dismay! I missed a patch on my wrist. Right where that sorta weird knuckle looking thing is on the outside of your wrist? Yep. Missed it. So today i have a bunch of frizzy electric hair standing straight up in a small bunch on my right wrist. Should i stretch my hand out to shake yours today.. please look away. I'm a beast.

banana

Some people say that people look like their dogs. Michelle just got a new little dog she named Banana. I don't think they look alike at all.

caught cheating...

First of all, i have to admit that i cant draw toes. As you can clearly see. Second, i have to admit that i got caught cheating. Which is worse? I'll let you be the judge. Here's the story:

Normally, i go to this manicure/pedicure place down the street when i get a hankerin' to have pretty nails.  The ladies all know me by name. They are very sweet to me. And by nature I'm a very loyal person. And that goes for my toe nails as well. It just so happened that i was outa town recently and had to wear flip flops. My nails were a bit of a disaster so i popped into a nail salon for a quickie. You know...on the sly. I picked the same color i already had so nobody would know. Just a touch up really.... no commitment. I sat back, relaxed and started flipping thru a magazine. I began reading about some teen star's latest mishap when the woman working on me asked a question. I didn't fully HEAR the question so i just smiled and nodded and went back to the teen star nasty gossip. As she was finishing up i looked at my toes. OH NO! A Flower! She painted a flower on both of my big toes! I didn't get a flower at my usual salon! I never ask for a flower!!        Well, fast forward to the my next visit at the salon down the street. I walked in and everybody said, "Hello Sara!" I sat in the chair and submerged my feet quickly. I rummaged for a magazine. Trying not to get eye contact. The nice lady who always works on me came to get started. She pulled my foot outa the water... looked at my toes... and looked at me over her glasses. "Pretty flower," she said. Knowing I'd been caught cheating "Uh, yah.. pretty..." i said as i blushed. Then she lifted my foot and showed the other ladies at the salon... "Pretty FLOWER," she said. I kinda half smiled. She grabbed a cloth and started rubbing the nail polish off my toes. She rubbed really hard and said under her breath..."mmhum pretty flower is GONE." And then she switched her normal little tool kit with a different tool kit that was hidden under a cloth in her bucket. She pulled a pair of rubber gloves onto each hand and did the "snap" as she reached her forearms. Oh gawd. Are those the "fungus" tools? Am i gonna get the fungus???

I learned my lesson. I'll never cheat again. My toes belong to her.