a little too honest

I went out with some friends last night for a little happy fun. My friend Tracy told me that she doesnt like the lady that sits in the cube next to her at work so she farts and then points her fan in her direction. Sometimes i dont really want my friends to be that honest with me.

hotdog vendor

Sometimes when i get dressed in the morning Michelle says mean things about my outfit. The latest was, "You look like you're going to sell hotdogs all day."

icky

Michelle took Banjo and her buddy Elmo the black lab to the beach yesterday. Not sure what happened there but i think Banjo ate something nasty. In the middle of the night i woke up to that ominous dog throw up sound and promptly stepped in it with bare feet. AAAAACK!

football party

Last night i went to my friend Wesley's house for a football party. I was the only one who actually cares about football. The rest of them just sat there staring blankley at the television screen hoping the game would end. oh well, i had fun anyway! Thanks Wes!

tastes like chicken

Last night all i dreamed about was chicken.. i had my mom's yummy fried chicken, i had chicken curry, i had chicken pot pie, i had chicken tikka, i had chicken in wine, i had yummy yummy YUMMY chicken.

St. Mina

All Hail St. Mina! I'm starting to feel better. The raw diet, no coffee, the poking with needles in my head, and the supplements all seem to be making amends with my body. I think my body and i will be friends again soon.. all thanks to mina!

raw

I'm on the never ending journey to find the answer to why i have vertigo. I went to see Mina the acupuncture lady. She poked me with needles and asked my body what's wrong. My body told her it's not happy with me... I'm really sorry body. I really am. I hope we can be friends again soon. Mina put me on a raw diet. Have you ever done a raw diet? There's really not all that much you can eat. I'm getting really envious of the dog's food. I'm afraid i might turn into one of those sleep eaters and find myself head first in the dog bowl at midnight.

tests

I still have vertigo.. tests, tests, tests.. i've been to the doctor and they've been poking and prodding me... i feel like one of those bugs stuck to a board for people to stare at.

size small

I'm a big fatso.. its been well documented here at luckypork. Do you have any idea how depressing it is to go shopping with Michelle and watch her buy things that fit out of the childrens section?

vertigo

WHOA.... i've had vertigo now for about a week.
Can somebody make the earth stop spinning?