It wasnt as cool as i thought

I got Michelle a Sirius portable satellite radio for Christmas. Its called a Stiletto so it sounded really cool. After she got the radio activated she discovered that in order to receive the satellite feed she has to wear this really big headset with an antenna attached. Also, she can't walk under any trees or she'll lose the signal.

cords are fun to eat

This morning i thought it would be fine for Banjo to play in the livingroom unsupervised while i slept for a few more minutes. I was wrong. She chewed thru the computer cord.

wrapper

Last night i started wrapping christmas presents. They all look awful. I'm terrible at it. So, if you get a present from me... expect that it will look like it bounced off a truck on Hwy 5 and was run over by 20 RVs

jail

Our neighbor Jon gave us a new "crate" for Banjo... I'm feeling terribly guilty today.. i feel like i put her in a little jail cell.

Oy, motherhood..

Car Ride

We took Banjo for a car ride this weekend to get her ready for her big trip to meet the family at Christmas. We also made her wear her red sweater because it makes me laugh.

red sweater

I got a red Christmas sweater for Banjo. I bought a small thinking it would fit but its way too big. Roscoe watched us put the sweater on the pup and found the entire thing to be rather silly.

Puppy Duty

Michelle went to her work Christmas party last night and left me alone to watch the puppy.

I'm exhausted.

I'd rather be...

It's raining again. I'm tired of the rain... so in my head.. i'm playing at the beach. I'm also teaching Banjo to balance a beer on her nose.

Ah, yes.... perfection.

my sister was on Dr. Phil

My sister told me to watch Dr. Phil last night because she was on the show. I was afraid she was on there because she had some sort of problem... or that she might be telling on me for some trauma i caused her as a child. Although... i only recall the trauma she caused ME as a child. But it turned out to be the Dr. Phil Christmas show and she was an audience member. They gave the audience members gifts... tons of gifts!! For an hour.. they just kept on giving them gifts!!! MORE GIFTS! AND MORE!!!!

So.. Suzan... i have my eye on the Elmo Giggle chair, the southwest airline tickets and the new Mattress.

fetch

Sometimes i throw the ball but Banjo brings back things she finds more interesting

loverboy

Michelle went to the pet store yesterday and got a pheromone diffuser to relax the cats. It seems to be working...

everybody poops

My life has suddenly become all about poop.

My, what big claws you have...

Roscoe likes to say "HI!" to the new puppy!

banjo

The New York Giants lost... so i got a puppy

yikes

Last night i went to this postcard show... the people turned into a mob.. a buying frenzy!! OF POSTCARDS???? I was scared so i hid behind a pole.

On a side note, my friend Jessica taught me how to tie my scarf like that.

race

This morning my bus driver decided it was time to race.

He wasn't talking to me

Don't you hate it when you think somebody is talking to you but they're actually talking to somebody else on their little bluetooth earpiece thingy?

but baby it's cold outside

Coming from Southern California.. I dont think its fair that the sun can be out and it can still be THIS cold.

It's all a blurrr

Michelle and i went wine tasting this weekend in the cutest little town called Murphy.

I think i liked them all.

a farm scene for melissa

"Weird, none of the cows got golden tickets today..."

i'm ready!

Roscoe and I know where we're putting everything.

i'm in my dark place

I can't take it! I just can't take it! My beloved New York Giants lost last night to the Jacksonville Jaguars. A Giant? Losing to a Jaguar?! Don't Giants eat Jaguars for thanksgiving? Couldn't the Giant just step on the Jaguar and squish it?

I'm in hiding now. I need to be alone.

Dude, Tofurkey is weird

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Tim and Matt for having Michelle and I over to their lovely home for a pre-thanksgiving feast. I learned many fascinating things while dining with them and their friends. One of which, is that a Tofurkey has organs. It has a little soybean heart, a soybean liver and some soybean kidneys. Who knew?

do you have a lint brush?

Michelle does the laundry and i'm supposed to put my clean clothes away. But i never do. By the end of the week i have a clothes mountain on the floor. The cats seem to like the clothes mountain and sleep on it during the day. Today i'm wearing a nice furry shirt from the top of the pile.

me vs. carbs

This is a tuff fight.

what the ?

Last night Michelle brought a hot water bottle to bed with her so the kitties would be nice and warm.

They didnt like it as much as she had hoped.

whoops, i got fat

oh dear. I just noticed that i got fat. So, its back to the gym and no bread. I'm going to miss you Mr. Sourdough.

inhibitions

Have you noticed that the older you get the less inhibited you are to pick your nose in public?

one if by land, two if by sea

My mom, my sister and my niece are coming to visit this weekend. My mom rented a big van so we can all ride around together.

i got this email

I got this email yesterday and it cracked me up. Thought you might find it funny as well.

Hi all,

As you know, Joanna is coming back to the office tomorrow. If you have borrowed anything from her desk, please be sure to return it by end of day. You'll know whatever you borrowed is hers because there will be a giant label on it that reads, "Property of Joanna - DO NOT REMOVE". :) This especially pertains to her P-Touch label maker that is still missing.

Thanks

change is good

Don't be afraid Mr. Republican! Change is good.

Can I have a D!?

Hooray! It's Voting Day! Go Democrats!

a big clamp

There are two things going on here... first of all, yes.. thats a new hairdooooo.. (lovely, isnt it? Michelle helped me style it today) and second.. THERE'S A HUGE CLAMP ON MY HEAD! I've had three migraines in the last week. Perhaps this is the apocalypse????

ralph steadman

Last night, Michelle and i went to hear a reading by her hero ralph steadman. He has a new book out called the Joke's Over. For anyone who has never seen his work i encourage you to go to the ralph steadman website and enjoy his illustrations. I was completely inspired. So much so, in fact, that i am shown here as one of his ink splats.

sshhhh... the kitties are sleeping

My cat Roscoe usually wakes up with a great amount of energy and races michelle to his food bowl.. looking up at her.. hoping he'll get some great yummy treat.. but he usually just gets his usual fat cat diet food that he gets every morning. THIS morning.. he just layed there.. sleeping soundly... in a furry little ball. Perhaps he'd had a late night? Maybe he tuckered himself out playing with that spool of thread he's been batting around? Or, maybe he just didnt feel like getting up.

It must be nice to be a cat

auntie

Every year my aunt stephanie and her work buddies get all dressed up for halloween and decorate their cubes. This year she told me that they were lazy and she went to work dressed as a mom giving out candy. That made me laff... i told her that story would HAVE to make my blog! So.. here is my aunt stephanie.. in her costume

yes, i know i need a haircut

I'm growing tired of people telling me i look better with short hair. I'm getting it cut on saturday. In the meantime, i think i'll go trick or treating tonight dressed as the scary hair lady.

All Hallows Eve...

My bus ride to work today was PACKED with devils...... Scary.

clown fish

Too many halloween parties and a late night tuna sandwich just dont mix.

you can take the girl outa the country...

Michelle just got back from a visit to Florida to see her dad. They went to a cowboy bar. Now she wants to be a cowboy... and learn how to line dance. I'm looking for a VHS tape of the Tush Push Boogie. Let me know if any of you have that.

something's missing

Last night i made my friend Stephanie's famous black bean chili. But it's just not as good when i make it. I think Stephanie adds a little magic to hers.

ONE MORE DAY!

YAY! MICHELLE COMES HOME TOMORROW!!!!

now THAT'S loud

I was so tired after WILLING the NY Giants to victory last night over the Dallas Cowboys that i fell fast asleep. I snored so loud that in all of my dreams i kept trying to figure out where that sawing noise was coming from. I'm taking this opportunity to apologise to the neighbors.

late

I never heard my alarm this morning.. i think my cats turned it off. They like to sleep in.

hair

I dont think that stuff i used on my hair was gel.

uh oh...

Michelle's mom has started reading my blog...

can you hear me?

Michelle just got a new pair of headphones. They're the noise cancelling kind. She likes to follow me around the house and ask me questions. When i answer she points to her head and yells, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I HAVE MY HEADPHONES ON!"

tattle tale

I always wish I could wear a sandwich board to warn people when i see a cop hiding. They look so smug sitting there waiting to snare unsuspecting citizens. So, if you're driving in San Francisco today.. there's a copper hiding at the corner of Oak and Page.

I'm not mad

I got this text message last night. Didnt recognize the number. So.. just for the record... whoever you are... I'm not mad at you.

a moment of silence

My mom's kidney stone had a tiananmen square moment this morning. The kidney stone didnt make it.