big head

I've decided to let myself obsess over one thing per day. Today you might think i would be obsessing about that guy on the other side of my cubicle wall who keeps sniffling and clearing his throat. While that IS very worthy of obsession. And increasingly annoying... No. Not today. Today I'm obsessing over the size of my head. My GIANT noggin. I've mentioned my giant head to Michelle and she very nicely tells me that it means I'm very smart...that there's plenty of room for a lot of brain power. But the fact that she agrees that my head is larger than normal means my head is GIGANTIC and much too large for my body. So.. as a result of my obsessing about it for hours...I've come up with a solution. I can not decrease the size of my humongous pumpkin head. That is not an option. BUT! What i CAN do is make my body of equal proportion. Sooooo... bring on the cookies! I've got some catching up to do!

the jacket

Last night Michelle and i went to Oakland's "First Friday Art Walk." Lots of local artists to check out in trendy art galleries, street vendors selling cool stuff and musicians doing their thang in the alley ways. I wore my super cool new cream colored leather jacket. Needless to say...i felt cool. Super cool. I put on my "art collector" persona and slowly strolled the avenues looking for a treasure. I kept feeling people rub up against my back. Michelle said she thought they were feeling how soft the leather of my super cool new cream colored leather jacket was. I didn't really give it a second thought. It was VERY crowded. No biggie.

When we got home i took off my super cool new cream colored leather jacket...and realized there was a huge SALE tag hanging on the back. 

So much for being super cool.

garden thief

Michelle and i went for a walk around the neighborhood today and noticed that one house down the street has a really fancy garden. Most houses in Berkeley have fancy gardens so its not that unusual to see some amazing stuff. But this house in particular had TONS of gorgeous things sprouting from every inch of their front yard. We stopped for a moment to take it all in. mmm...lovely. We looked at each other and suddenly sprouted horns on the tippety top of our heads. Little devils. We spoke in hushed voices. We'll come back after dark with some snippers and SNIP some of their plants to replant in our OWN garden. Hee hee hee... sneaky. They'll never know! We'll be quiet as church mice. 

As we walked away i noticed something out of the corner of my eye. A man. Oh no! The owner of the house was standing on his porch hidden from view! He'd heard the whole conversation. We quick stepped as fast as we could back to safety. Checking behind us the whole way for his Berkeley Garden Society posse coming to round us up. I was imagining them in their giant rubber boots, garden gloves and big floppy hats holding pitch forks and searching for us on horseback in the night.

needless to say... we wont be stealing any plants tonight. 

But tomorrow? 

One never knows...

winter

This particular winter in California is sooooo confusing.

(by the way, this pic is in response to the literally THOUSANDS of requests i receive daily to see me in a bikini.)

jiggle

I went for a run this morning. It was the first time i laced up the old running shoes and strapped on that steel trap of a running bra since before Christmas. Ooooooh. Let me just tell you. I have waaaay more jiggly bits than i remember. And the jiggly bits i dooooo remember are larger, in topiary-like shapes and have moved to random areas of my body.

damn Christmas cookies....

litter

There's a two story Target store down the road from us. I like to go there because they have this cool escalator for your cart. Right. Not just a people escalator but an escalator for your cart so that if you go upstairs you can take your cart with you. BRILLIANT! So Michelle and i did a little shopping on the first floor. We got some soda, hair dye and a 40 pound box of cat litter. Yes, 40 pounds. It was on sale. We didn't really need anything upstairs. But i love riding the escalator. Like its a ride at an amusement park. So we loaded up the cart on its very own escalator and rode up to the second floor. Love it. We turned right around and loaded the cart to go back downstairs. My plan was to do this over and over.. at least 12 times. Well, let me just stop here and tell you...there are no warning signs.. Nothing like, "Your cart must be over this height to ride this ride" or "You cant ride this ride if your cart weighs.. lets say.. 40.5 pounds."  So anyway, we load the cart on its track to come back down and off we go. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee... fun!!! until.. uh oh... i heard a kind of cracking sound. And then the escalator sort of "bucked." OH NO! Our cart was too heavy and released itself from the track! It started rolling! Crashing into the carts in front of it! Now ALL the carts on the track are releasing themselves and FLYING down the escalator toward the "Beat the flu" display below! People were frozen in disbelief as carts took off on their own! SMASH! BANG! CRASH! They all gathered at the bottom. Bunched up like stuck typewriter keys. By the time we got to the bottom floor it looked like one of those mass suicide photos. Complete with purple blankets and Nike shoes. At this point the escalator is completely broken and has stopped working. A really mean Target lady in her little red outfit came and gave us a "look." We dislodged our cart from the others. And slowly pushed it away. No proof we started the whole thing. They'll never know it was us. But from now on... I'll ride the "ride" BEFORE we get the cat litter.

jackhammer

Michelle and i are doing a little home improvement project that involves breaking up some cement along the side of the house. I got a jackhammer to do the job. Wow...now i know why there aren't many female jackhammer operators. 

Bouncy boobies!!!