dog collar

Michelle has been on a bit of a spending spree lately. Not for me. Not for her. For Banjo. Last night she showed me all the dog collars Banjo has now. Apparently Banjo needs different collars for different occasions. With GLEE she pulled out the beach collars, and then the fancy collars for fancy time and then... get this.. her PAJAMA collars! Now remember, Banjo isn't a Paris Hilton little Froofroo dog. She's a mutt from the pound. I love her to death but really, Pajama collars?

Beans

My mom and sister were up visiting last week. It was my mom's birthday on Friday so i took them to see the Broadway musical "Wicked." We decided to go to Tommy's Joint for dinner before the show. Tommy's is a San Francisco landmark. Mom and sister were really dolled up for the show. Really dolled up! About half way through dinner..."PLOP"...a spoonful of baked beans fell off mom's spoon directly onto the front of her blouse. She got a little water and a napkin and cleaned it the best she could. Then sister gets up to use the restroom and runs into a bus boy who was carrying a to-go bag full of baked beans. What are the chances!? The container fell on the floor and "SPLAT!" Beans everywhere! Including all over sister's dress! Well, we cleaned the dress the best we could and went off to the show. I sat between them smelling their lovely perfume of baked beans. I think the entire audience left the theater craving beans without having a clue why.

Parallel

There are two things in this life that will surely get a laff outa me. The first is when people fall down. Boy, howdy! I cant resist that one! Makes me laff everytime. Even if i'm quite sure there's a broken hip in the deal. I just cant stop that giggle from risin' from my belly. The second is a bit less obvious. I get the biggest kick outa watching people try to parallel park. In San Francisco parking is at a premium. There just arent enough spaces for all the cars to occupy. Especially when the outa towners show up. Michelle and i will spend countless hours in the window just watching some poor soul try for the 12th time to get into that peanut sized gap. Ooooh! Thats a good one! We'll even yell to each other the play by play if one of us has to leave the room. "Hey, he's crankin' it too far to the left again! Here he goes! OH! He smacked the bumper! Nope!! Has to start over!"

Oh man! Nothin' better!

latchkey

When i came home the other day i heard Michelle yelling in the hallway. "I'm stuck! Help!" Michelle has taken to wearing the house key on a chain around her neck. I guess so she wont lose it? Well, this is what i saw as i rounded the corner. The key was stuck in the lock and she couldn't pull the chain off over her head. Trapped. To the front door. I'm uncertain how long she was like that. But i know she was relieved to see me and to have me remove the key from the lock. She still wears the chain with the house key around her neck. Sometimes i wonder about that little lady.

hairball

We're having a hot spell in San Francisco. That means the animals are shedding. All over the house! In fact, i think the couch is shedding and the walls are shedding and the pots and pans are shedding. Its a very hairy household right now. So yesterday Michelle got tired of brushing the critters and grabbed the hand vac!
I'm sure you can imagine how well THAT went over!

water

I discovered today that I'm incapable of drinking from a fountain. It goes right up my nose and then dribbles down my chin. I'm not sure why its so difficult for me. I tried a few times and each time i got the same result. Water all over my face and down my shirt. Perhaps its my grandma's fault. I remember when i was a little girl being at the park and my grandma telling me never to drink from them because there was some water fountain disease or something. And then there was the time at the golf course with my dad when i went for a drink and there was a bee on the spigot. Almost stung my nose, that guy! And there's a distant memory of my older sister telling me some strange story that there's a boxing glove in them and when you lean in they POP YOU right in the chin. So i guess in retrospect I'm a little skittish and just not that practiced at the fine art of water fountain-ing. Next time I'll just buy a bottle of water and be done with it.

diaper

Can you get diaper rash from sitting on your ass all day in front of a computer? Because, seriously; i think i have diaper rash.

skater

My friend Andrea emailed and said that she'd like us to take ice skating classes together. She wants to join an adult hockey league. She's played before so she would be on the experienced team. I would have to be on the beginners boom boom team since i've really only skated a few times and that was YEARS ago when i was limber and able to fall without breaking my neck. She sent me the link so i could decide for myself if it was up my alley. While i was perusing the site i came across adult figure skating classes. I started off with a giggle as i read what we would learn and then fell into a full throated belly laff. Can you imagine? They actually choreograph a routine for you! And you perform it! In Oakland? In front of the homeless guy in the third row and the snack bar attendant? I think i'll pass. But i will go out and cheer for Andrea and her clan of toothless vixens!

Happy Birthday America

I just wanted to share with you what we see in San Francisco on the 4th of July. They spend thousands on these elaborate fireworks shows over the bay. But with the very punctual fog that arrives every year on the first day of summer... this is all we can see. Just some pink-ish, blue-ish, purple-ish clouds. Don't get me wrong. Its pretty. But i was thinking maybe they could use the thousands of dollars differently and just give us each a sparkler.

NAKED

While we were in Portland we ran across a strange ritual. Apparently, once a year there's a naked bike race thru the city. Uh... OUCH!!